‘Tis but a scratch, declares ISIS after being driven out of Palmyra

author avatar by 7 years ago

Islamic terror groups have offered to ‘call it a draw’ after hundreds of their troops were killed by Russian and Syrian troop and they were driven out of Palmyra.

The ancient city was a stronghold for the group who declared that ‘none shall pass’.

In the event their resistance lasted perhaps four days before they ran like cheap paint.

ISIS spokesmen had claimed that Allah had made them invincible, to which the only possible response is “You’re a loony”.

They have vowed to keep fighting in defiance of all rational explanation.

Responding to suggestions that their arms have been cut off, an ISIS spokesman said “No they haven’t”, despite all available evidence to the contrary.

As Russian troops departed, the ISIS spokesman grew increasingly desperate, demanding they come back for another go and threatening to bite their legs off.

“Running away, eh, you yellow bastards!” he shouted, from a safe distance.

“By the beard of the Prophet, if any of those decadent western satirical websites dare take the piss out of us for this, ooooh we’ll be really cross.”