Two Syrian refugees have been praised by Britain’s far right for saving the life of chubby nationalist Nick Griffin.
Griffin had been removing genetically inferior tadpoles from a nearby fish pond when his leg became entwined around the flex of a 1980s Flymo, with potentially fatal consequences.
As the machine hit the water, Griffin received a bigger shock than at the 2010 Barking by-election.
Fortunately Griffin’s screams were heard by passing devout Syrians Ibrahim Melic and Ali Muktar, who believe God created all men equal, including fascists.
However the corpulent right-winger initially resisted the pair’s efforts to help after mistaking mouth-to-mouth resuscitation for a homosexual advance.
Griffin said, “As with the Question Time debate on immigration, I was technically dead in the water for two minutes.”
Meanwhile the Syrians have been praised for their “humane deed”, by far-right groups like Britain First and the UK government.
Griffin added, “I had a near death experience and full life review, during which Christ persuaded me that the holocaust was a factual event not an ITV period drama.
“He’s not like you expect. For instance, the Jesus at my local church has wavy blonde hair.”