A bunch of Utter Dickheads killed over thirty people yesterday.
So-called Islamic State, or “The Bunch of Utter Dickheads”, detonated suicide bombs at Brussels airport and the Brussels metro station.
“I’m sure there will a number of well-informed debates regarding cause and effect; especially on Facebook” said Officer Simon Williams, “but what we can all agree on is that this was a tragedy, caused by some Dickheads.
“It’s really hard to find any kind of comfort from this tragedy; but at least the Dickheads took their own lives, which means there are a few less dickheads in the world.
“Now, if you will excuse me, we need to try and find the chief-Dickhead and either arrest him or shoot him in his Dickhead-face, depending on how feisty he’s feeling.”
A spokesperson for the Belgian government said, “Belgium will not succumb to the evil machinations of this Bunch of Dickheads.”
“We’re going back on the trains, we’re getting back on the planes, and we’re still going to do it with pride on our hearts and a Starbucks in our hands.”
“So, suck it, Dickheads.”