Jeremy Corbyn applies ‘kinder, gentler politics’ to the government

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Jeremy Corbyn is applying his maxim of kinder, gentler politics to the government by not asking them any tricky questions.

Faced with Prime Minister’s Questions yesterday, Corbyn courteously avoided asking David Cameron about the recent resignation of Ian Duncan Smith as he thought it might be a bit of a sensitive subject and didn’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings.

Instead the leader of the opposition focused on other pressing issues of the days, such as whether Cameron had a nice weekend and what he was having for dinner.

Obviously rattled by this tough line of questioning, Cameron said he’d had a lovely time thanks, and he hopes it’s chips it’s chips.

A spokesman for Corbyn told the nation they could expect him to adhere to a similarly generous and kindly policy towards leaders of other nations such as Vladimir Putin, Robert Mugabe and ISIS when he’s Prime Minister.

“Kinder, gentler politics means not being too horrid to your political opponents in order to build bridges,” we were told.

“David Cameron isn’t our enemy – he’s just a friend we haven’t made yet.

“The Labour Party doesn’t have any enemies. Except its own MPs, who we will crush like the dogs they are.”

Unusually, Chelsea Football Club issued a statement supporting Corbyn’s position, agreeing that just because your opponents are rubbish and leave you plenty of open goals there’s no reason to be discourteous by beating them.