Tuesday 22 March 2016 by Lucas Wilde

All tennis players paid shitloads too much

Tennis players paid too much

Every tennis player off the telly is being paid far too much for what they actually do.

Following a row over male fluffy-ball-hitters being paid more than female fluffy-ball-hitters, it has been revealed that the whole pack of them are somewhat taking the piss.

“It goes against most of the rules regarding returns on investment,” confirmed economics expert, Elizabeth King.

“Essentially, we’re offering these people a prize of several millions of pounds, not to mention sponsorship deals, appearance fees and various forms of bribery.

“And in return you get to watch someone hit a ball back and forth before throwing a hissy fit at a man in a high-chair.

“So…I mean you can do maths, right? It’s pretty poor value for money.”

Tennis fan, Simon Williams, said “Yeah, I don’t think we should be paying that much for them, really.”

“Apart from some of the women with the short skirts and the nice arses. They’re worth every penny.”

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