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Donald Trump has told supporters that he’ll deport Bernie Sanders to the Soviet Union when he becomes President.
The controversial candidate made the pledge to a wildly cheering crowd in Utah who seemed not to realise that it isn’t 1986 any longer.
Evidently unaware that the Iron Curtain collapsed under the internal contradictions inherent in Communism in 1989, Trump pledged to ‘put Sanders on a plane to Russia’ the morning after his election.
“East Germany, Czechoslovakia, Yugoslavia, any one of those countries that threaten our freedom. They can have him,” Trump announced in blissful ignorance that none of them even exist any longer.
“Say – how about Berlin or Warsaw? They’re full of Commies,” he added, leading to confused expressions and puzzled questions from German and Polish representatives at the event.
When questioned about the pledge, Trump grew angry and insisted that he had the best atlas and he knew every country in it better than anyone else does.
He then ordered security to escort anyone asking questions from the room before they were murdered by his supporters.
“Trump doesn’t like questions!”, he then insisted. “He only likes answers!”
A spokesman for the Russian government said that Sanders seems a lovely old man and they’d be delighted to have him to stay, and promised to ‘do their best’ not to murder him.
