Defiant North Korea fights off attack by Namor the Sub-Mariner

author avatar by 7 years ago

North Korea has fought off an attack by Namor the Sub-Mariner by firing some missiles into the sea, according to official news sources.

Several Nodong-class ballistic missiles were launched last night after Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un fell asleep reading a back issue of Super Secret Invasion Wars of Future Past and had an odd dream which warned him of the impending attack.

The North Korean military were immediately placed on high alert and a barrage of missiles were fired at the decadent capitalist sea to defend the heroic motherland.

Namor, who is Prince of the underwater Empire of Atlantis, was described by North Korean sources as an ‘Imperialist lackey of the United States which often approvingly reports on his misdeeds in their printed newspapers’.

Reports from the secretive state this morning suggest that no attack was forthcoming and the country is unscathed, leading to a great victory and public holiday being declared. All citizens are to get twenty minutes off and an extra grain of rice in celebration.

Although American sources have wearily confirmed that Namor is in fact just pretend and doesn’t exist, angry North Korean officials rejected the claim and pointed at film evidence of Captain America fighting giant robots to in support of their position.

“They filmed it happening,” said spokesman Wil Sim-un. “And that means it must have happened, just like all those films about the Supreme Leader being beloved around the world that we make.

“If you can’t trust the films, then you can’t trust anything at all.”