It is almost inevitable that a new film about a teenage girl in a dystopian future will arrive in cinemas at some point soon.
The film, most likely based on a book that you’ve never heard up, will probably be called ‘Hazenant,’ ‘Binary Flight,’ or ‘Captain Future,’ and have a subtitle of ‘Destiny of Mindfire,’ ‘The Meteoring,’ or ‘Flaps.’
It will star a young teenage girl who looks far too thin to be healthy and is best known for appearing in a BBC3 web-only drama about forbidden love in an immigrant camp.
In order to engender an unconvincing whiff of credibility it will feature a well-respected if slight past-their-prime actor slumming it as the baddie for the money. Bill Pullman or Tim Robbins probably.
The film will be based around a ridiculous premise that utterly falls apart if you spend more than three seconds thinking about. Such as a future where society is divided into the privileged few who live in trees and the downtrodden masses who live in the sea.
The ‘story’ will focus on an ordinary young underwater girl who discovers a wart on her foot that signifies some quasi-mystical plot device that will have her inspire a rebellion in the fourth or fifth film that leads to everyone being nice to each other.
She will also moon around trying to decide if she really loves the sensible fish farming boy or the carefree but privileged boy who lives up a tree.
It is expected that another teenage-girl-battles-evil-in-dystopian-future film will follow in a month or so, and then another one twenty minutes after that.