Star Trek fan beats Google supercomputer at 3D Chess

author avatar by 8 years ago

Despite beating the world champion of Go in a series of games, Google’s AlphaGo is still not capable of winning a single game of 3D Chess against the average Star Trek fan.

Google had high hopes for their new system, which they claim to have programmed to be almost 325% more obsessively nerdy than any previous computer, and capable of self-learning details from every single episode of the original series.

According to programmers, AlphaGo was given all the tools it needed to effectively compete with a Trekker including heuristic self-learning algorithms, recursive neural networks, and a copy of Leonard Nimoy’s “Ballad of Bilbo Baggins”.

It was only when the computer was asked to play the game against Trek fan Barry Stuart that things went wrong.

“At first everything was going well until we tried to explain the game was played on multiple boards,”  Google Chief Engineer Simon Williams told us.

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“Then the computer said ‘Error…error…does not compute. What is this thing you humans call…love?’ and exploded in a shower of sparks.

“This always bloody happens when we bring Star Trek into it.”

The victorious Barry then challenged the computer to the rite of Koon-Ut-Kal-If-Fee for the right to mate with the female who awarded him his prize.

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