‘Silent majority’ actually neither

author avatar by 8 years ago

The silent majority is entirely composed of a few noisy gobshites, it has been confirmed today.

People who are unable to find anyone to publicly agree with their opinions often loudly and repeatedly claim a ‘silent majority’ support them, but a report published today confirmed that this is actually bollocks.

“This ‘silent majority’ is entirely composed of maybe four hundred people on the Internet with too much time on their hands and poor punctuation and grammar skills,” the report concludes.

“From frothing racists to Middle-class internet Marxists, they all claim there’s some great silent movement backing up their fuckwittery which at any moment will sweep their minority view to power.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.”

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Internet extremists reject the report, insisting that most people support them in their hearts.

Claiming that they detect a real change of mood in the country towards their particular line of berserk nonsense, the continually-posting whackjobs will continue to speak out for the nonexistent group they claim to represent.

Should they ever be presented with evidence their fringe opinions actually are shared by a vanishingly small minority,  commenters say they plan to deal with this by claiming to be just better-informed and more intelligent than most people.