We were smoking some serious crack when we picked a fight with the Queen, admits Sun

author avatar by 7 years ago

Staff at the Sun newspaper were smoking some strong shit when they picked a fight with the Queen, we can report.

Insiders at News International confirmed today that things had ‘got a bit wild’ and starting on Her Majesty seemed like a great giggle after the third or fourth joint and a couple of lines.

According to sources, ‘one of the guys from the city desk’ had been lying under a desk staring at the patterns on the back of his hand when he announced that it would be a right crack if they took a swing at the Monarch.

“He just said ‘If there’s one person who nobody likes it’s the Queen’ and it all seemed so funny at the time”, said Newsdesk stringer Simon Williams, who asked not to be named.

“Admittedly I was face-first in a kilo of colombian at the time, so under the circumstances I think I can be given a bit of a bye.

“We did ring up Rupe to make sure it was all okay with him but all we got was a combination of regular creaking noises and a crackling noise like a dog paddling on plastic, so we took that as a yes.”

Staff at the Sun are reported to be ‘concerned’ now they’re on the comedown, but have just taken a delivery of a whole stack of smack which will give them the confidence to see this one through.