Explorers in the Amazon basin claim to have discovered a lost tribe who have yet to see Kim Kardashian naked.
Researchers describe the tribe as having lived for millennia without the basic trappings of civilisation such as electricity and access to nude publicity selfies.
Initial reports from the isolated Vale do Javari suggest the tribe represents the last few people on Earth who haven’t had Kanye West’s wife thrust her bazoomas at them, and researchers don’t see why they should stay happy when everyone else has to suffer.
“They seem so content and at peace,” we were told.
“Their lives are simple and uncluttered by technology or the ceaseless and increasingly desperate one-upmanship of Z-list celebrities.
“We’ll soon change that.”
Upon learning of the news, Kanye West is reported to have ask Kim to sit on a photocopier and run off several thousand images of her fanny before throwing them out of his helicopter over the region.
When asked what he thought of the pictures, the tribe’s witch-doctor said, “Meh.”