2.5 million Britons exceed weekly alcohol limit in just one Wetherspoons

author avatar by 8 years ago

A local Wetherspoons has played host to the mother of all piss-ups.

The report follows revelations that 2.5 million people regularly exceed their weekly alcohol limit in a single day.

“And what a day!” beamed Simon Williams, landlord at the Frog and Bastard in Scunthorpe.

“I don’t know what happened or how, but suddenly 2.5 million people poured through the door all looking very thirsty.

“The system for reserving the pool table went out the window pretty damn quick, and we had to water down the beer even more than usual to make sure there’s enough to go round.

NewsThump Hoodies

“By 11pm it was like the last days of Sodom, if Sodom had a fruit machine and 2 for 1 on Jager-bombs.

“We had a hell of a time cleaning up the next morning. I don’t want to go into too much detail about how much vomit there was but let’s just say I won’t be wearing these socks again.”