That’s what happens when you don’t have the Queen, Canada tells US

author avatar by 8 years ago

Canada has given a sad shake of its head and observed that this is what happens when you don’t have the Queen today.

Browsing the news over its breakfast of bacon, bacon and bacon, Canada met news from Super Tuesday with a mixture of incomprehension and pity.

Meanwhile office conversations around baconcoolers across the country have been held in hushed, horrified tones about the fate which has befallen their neighbour to the south.

“I just called into Tim Hortons for a cup of bacon decaf and a bacon donut when I heard the news from America,” said Canadian Simoon Williams.

“Those poor, poor people. If only they’d kept the Queen as head of state they’d have avoided all of this.

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“Just think; if the American colonists hadn’t been armed in 1776, they’d all be speaking English now.”