Wednesday 2 March 2016 by Neil Tollfree

‘Shut up and do as you’re told’ is new EU ‘In’ campaign slogan

EU referendum

The campaign to keep the UK in the EU has revealed their new campaign slogan – “Shut up and do as you’re told”.

The slogan was announced by the Prime Minister himself, David Cameron.

“It really encapsulates the whole ethos of the ‘In’ campaign,” he said as he took a break from his light supper of Belgian swan with shavings of French truffle in a poached Amsterdam diamond sauce.

“It is vital that for this campaign to be a success, the Great British people pull their usual trick of not really thinking about any of the issues and just voting for me because I’m best.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, Chancellor Merkel has just sent me a Black Forest Gateau the size of a house and I’m going to get stuck into that.”

The new slogan seemed to be welcomed by the public.

“I like it,” said unquestioning office drone Simon Williams.

“I mean, the whole issue around Europe is a bit difficult and confusing, so it’s definitely going to be loads easier to deal with if I just shut up and do as I’m told. Brilliant.”

The slogan was chosen above two alternatives – “The EU is bloody brilliant, obviously,” and “Boris Johnson smells of poo”.

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