Beastie Boys agree ceasefire in Right To Party conflict

author avatar by 8 years ago

The Beastie Boys have agreed a ceasefire almost thirty years after taking up arms for their Right To Party.

The conflict was sparked in 1987 after the group woke up late for school and didn’t want to go, leading to decades of armed insurrection which was responsible for claiming hundreds of lives.

The UN-brokered deal is expected to guarantee the group their right to party, whilst the Beastie Boys accept they have no right to impose partying on others.

Speaking at a press conference, Mike D told reporters that his motivation had been to spare others the loss of their best porno mag.

“But then we looked at the popularity of Donald Trump and Ted Cruz and were forced to acknowledge that many Americans simply don’t want the right to party,” he said.

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The ceasefire was brokered by Run-DMC acting as intermediaries in the conflict.

When asked if bringing both sides to the table had been difficult, Darryl McDaniels conceded that it it had been tricky.

“Tricky tricky tricky tricky huh,” he added.