People evicted from the ‘Jungle’ in Calais are being forced to endure inane interviews by Emma Willis about their time inside the camp.
Each eviction is greeted with banners of either derision or support, before Willis puts her arm around those forced to leave and asks them how they found their time ‘inside’.
Willis has been recruited to put the ‘fun’ back into ‘fundamental breach of human rights’, and will bring some glamour to the process of displacing thousands of refugees.
Refugee Simon Williams told us, “I’m just worried about what now happens my kids, but Emma wanted to know about any feuds in the camp and any dirt I could spill on my fellow camp members.
“Any secret blow-jobs or people getting off with each other, that sort of thing.
“She just completely ignored me when I asked where I was supposed to go next. Something about coming back to me after the ad break?”
Channel 5 will be screening the evictions for any morons willing to watch them at 9pm each evening.