Boris Johnson fails to win Oscar for portrayal of decent, likeable human being

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There was disappointment for London Mayor Boris Johnson at Sunday night’s Oscar ceremony as he failed to win an award for his portrayal of a good-natured, bumbling but sharp-witted every-man politician.

“He is terribly upset,” said an insider.

“Maintaining the ‘Boris’ act takes a lot of work, and some very focussed acting skills.

“I mean, in private the man is a cataclysmic bastard who enjoys nothing more than pulling the wings off ducks and kicking old ladies up the arse.

“Leonardo DiCaprio having a big cuddle with a bear’s got nothing on what Boris does.”

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However, Mr Johnson was not alone in his disappointment.

Jeremy Corbyn had been hoping to win something for his portrayal of a credible politician, but unfortunately few have agreed that he pulled off a convincing performance.

Tim Farron will be disappointed not to win anything, but that’s probably because very few people have seen his work.

Perhaps the biggest disappointment will be for the special effects team who work constantly to give alien lizard David Cameron the appearance of a normal human male.

If they could just find a way a way to make his face slightly less freakishly smooth then perhaps next year they could finally win.

It is understood that Mr Johnson will make one further push for Oscar glory next year with his portrayal of either a triumphant leader taking his rightful place as Prime Minister, or a betrayed tragic hero whose plans to save his country from external, malign influence are thwarted.