Being ‘f**king bored’ not a valid reason for sick leave, finds tribunal

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An employment tribunal has ruled that it is not acceptable for employees to take sick leave because they are ‘f**king bored.’

The tribunal was convened after Simon Williams, a billing administrator for Hadley and Kemp accounting, brought a case against his employers for denying him the mandatory sick allowance for a period of absence in June last year.

“It’s a pissing disgrace,” said Mr Williams to reporters.

“That Carla Hammond up in accounts had two weeks on the sick, but she gets away with it because Tony’s got a bonk-on for her.

“But I only had a Friday off. My mistake was phoning in sick while I was in the pub on Thursday.”

The recording of Mr Williams notice of sickness was played in the tribunal, the transcript reads – “Yeah, alright? Tony? Oi Dean, stop throwing cheesy moments at me. Sorry, that’s Dean, he’s being a right- whatever, so, listen, I’m not coming in tomorrow because I’m pissed up…No, because I’ve got the shits, the shits…No, in fact, you know what, I’m not coming in because I’m f**king bored of this boring f**king job. Oi Dean, get us another pint of-”

The tribunal ruled that ‘f**king bored’ wasn’t a sickness, and the adjudicator advised Mr Williams to stick with ‘the shits’ next time.