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With an irrational fear of people from other countries sweeping the nation, xenophobia has become the must-have mindset for trend-conscious Brits.
Wherever they’re comin’ over ‘ere from, the message from fashion experts is ‘Beware or Be Square!’.
“Forget shabby chic, cabbie chic is where it’s at,” explained Simon Williams of What Phobia? magazine.
“Blaming everything on anyone whose surname ends with two or more vowels is bang on trend at the moment.
“If you really want to turn heads then trendy Ukipsters are accessorising with a pint of bitter, twenty Rothmans king size and a purple and yellow rosette.”
Miriam Burton of No! magazine also offered some words of advice for fashion fans who are keen to ‘say what everyone’s thinking’.
“There’s a huge demand for preconceived negative opinions at the moment,” she said.
“The High Street is dominated by people who like to dress up their views as ‘telling it like it is’.
“Any criticism of your opinions can be dismissed as an establishment smear campaign, which is great news if you’re experimenting with islamophobia!”
51 year-old Gary Taylor, who remembers expressing similar views 30 years ago, has welcomed the revival.
“I’ve kept my dislike of foreigners in the closet, so it’s nice to be able to dust them down and hand them down to my kids,” he enthused.
“I’ve always said that you should hang on to your old opinions because it’s only a matter of time before they come back into fashion.
“It’s great to be cool again.”
