Intelligent woman sexually attracted to man who used a semicolon correctly

author avatar by 8 years ago

An intelligent woman has found herself consumed with lust for a man who constructed a grammatically correct sentence.

Simone Williams, 27, was browsing a dating website when the eligible bachelor’s profile caught her eye due to its use of commas, full stops and sentences in all the right places.

He even wrote the word ‘you’ in full and didn’t use more than one exclamation mark at a time.

Simone reported that the man’s profile showed off his lean prose, cut paragraphs, and included a photograph of him using the word verisimilitude without it seeming forced.

“I was going through the contacts I’d had from my profile on the site and it was just same old, same old,” she told us.

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“Steroids, tattoos, steroids, tattoos, dick pic, dick pic, dick pic.

“And then I saw him; capital letters, punctuation, even a sub-clause.

“He even included a line about how he’s a bit possessive – like the apostrophe.

“God help me, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom for a quick five minutes right there and then.”

When asked, the man – screen name Simowil01 – admitted he hadn’t written his profile himself but ‘got my mate Cyrano to do it.’