David Cameron to push for House of Commons dress code

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The Prime Minister is to follow-up on his derogatory comments about Jeremy Corbyn’s appearance by pushing for the House of Commons to introduce a formal dress code.

“It’s a ruddy disgrace,” said the prime minister, as his butler attended to him.

“Decent chaps like myself, George and Theresa pop into the old Commons once in a while and find ourselves greeted with the shocking shower across the chamber.

“That Corbyn oik dresses like a half-blind Bolshevik who’s let himself go, it’s disgusting.

“Nanny would never allow it.”

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But it wasn’t just the Labour leader who had earned the prime minister’s ire.

“The rest of that bally shambles are as bad, I don’t think I saw a decent Saville Row suit amongst them, they all looked like were off-the-peg,” he added, wrinkling his nose in disgust.

“Honestly, if I wanted to deal with the sort of people who buy their clothes from a supermarket then I wouldn’t have joined the Tory party.”

Cameron will push for a return to the Victorian tradition of full-length morning suits with top hats and monocles.

There will also be a further provision that anyone entering the House wearing any kind of corduroy to be summarily executed for being a communist.

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