Wales is preparing for unprecedented weather conditions after the Met Office said it might stop raining there for the first time since 1177BC.
The Welsh climate is described by meteorologists as temperate, predictable, and characterised by horizontal drizzle, meaning government agencies lack the resources to deal with a freak outbreak of sunshine.
Wales has issued a plea for international aid, insisting that it is simply not prepared to deal with warm and pleasant weather.
Aid agencies are scrambling to respond by offering dry-weather clothing and emergency training in how to take a cagoul off.
Welsh television weather forecasters are in a state of panic after discovering they don’t have any “sunshine” icons for the weather map.
“People across the principality are huddled round their televisions waiting for updates”, we were told.
“Well, I say televisions, but most Welsh people just have a big cardboard box with the side cut out and a sheep on a treadmill in it in the corner of the living room for entertainment.
“They give the weather forecast in Isobaaaaas.
“No, it’s ok, I’ll get my own coat.”
Locals are reported to be hoping the freak weather blows over soon and they can spend the summer wet-through as usual.