Hitler had a really small penis, world shocked to learn

author avatar by 8 years ago

Everyone has been utterly stunned by the release of medical records showing that Hitler had a really small cock today.

The report, titled “Really, you don’t say”, shows that the Fuhrer had several genital abnormalities, which absolutely nobody could possibly have figured out without help.

The revelations came out of the blue, which is more than Hitler ever did as it turns out.

Hitler is reported to have had a rare deformation called penile hypospadias resulting in the urethra opening on the underside of the penis, which would not only have resulted in it being utterly tiny but he would also have smelled of wee.

The records, from an examination carried out in 1923, go on to say that apart from only having one testicle and a very, very small penis Hitler was otherwise completely normal, and you can write the punchline to that one yourself.

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A spokesman for the Albert Hall confirmed that everyone has known Hitler only had one ball for ages.

Keen amateur Hitlerologist and slightly disturbing weirdo Simon Williams rejected the claims, insisting that the records were forgeries by the same people responsible for the Moon Landings and the 9/11 cover-up.

When asked if he thought the medical condition might account for anything, Simon become agitated and angrily insisted there was no connection at all, none whatsoever.