Jeremy Corbyn pledges to nationalise Hornby

author avatar by 8 years ago

Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has promised to nationalise Hornby, after a string of profit warnings from the struggling service.

A new range of filthy carriages stuffed to the roof with tiny, red-faced passengers failed to raise flagging sales over Christmas.

“It was a complete surprise,” said exiting boss Richard Ames.

“I thought people would feel obliged to buy them, because we’d put the price up quite a bit.

“And more often than not when you opened the box, it was completely empty. Or it just contained a replacement toy bus.”

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Corbyn thinks enough is enough, and has pledged to buy up the existing stock, using money from people who would rather play with Scalextric.

“Hornby is a vital part of Britain’s infrastructure,” explained the Labour leader.

“It prepares our children for the disappointment of using the real rail network.”