Top Gear fans break out in sweat as show’s best driver revealed as a woman

author avatar by 8 years ago

Hardcore Top Gear fans are wondering why they are sweating so profusely after learning that the show’s new line-up means the best driver on the show is now a woman.

German racing driver Sabine Schmitz is joining the cast, along with Eddie Jordan, Chris Harris and Rory Reid, in a move the BBC have described as akin to putting together the television version of The Fall.

The appointment of Schmitz has left many armchair fans shocked.

45-year-old Simon Williams explained, “Top Gear is cars, and men. Men and Cars. And jokes. And men. What are the BBC thinking?

“God, is it getting hot in here? Are you hot? Jesus, my chest feels very tight, is that normal?

“Anyway, Schmitz might have won the 24 Hours Nürburgring Touring Car race, fair enough, but can she reverse park a Corsa in the Tesco car park? I bet she bloody can’t. None of them can.

“I know, I’ve checked.

“Oh shit, I can’t breathe, I think I’m going to be sick.”