Six nations to kick off with England vs Hufflepuff

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The six nations tournament opens today as England take on Hufflepuff in the opening match.

England go into the game with a strong record of wins and their best front row in years, although pundits suggest this might be offset by Hufflepuff being able to fly and cast the Cruciatus curse.

Hufflepuff are regarded as a dark horse in the tournament and are best known for hard work, diligence and fair play, rather than any particular aptitude, which led to them being accepted into the tournament as a better fit than Italy.

England had raised complaints about Hufflepuff prop forward Rubeus Hagrid amid suggestions that his immense size is due to massive steroid abuse, but withdrew after being told that they could try and get a urine sample from him if they fancied it.

England head coach Simon Williams dismissed concerns that Hufflepuff might use their Accio Ball move, and insisted that new Flanker Voldemort Haskell is up to the challenge.

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The tournament continues later today with France taking on the Roman camps of Tortorum, Aquarium, Compendium and Laudanum amidst a doping scandal around ‘magic potion’.

The Wales vs Ireland fixture for tomorrow has been postponed amid concerns the Ireland team have been devoured by dragons.