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A good-looking American actor has been chosen to replace human sheepdog, James May.
Producers came up with the replacement by throwing darts at the latest issue of “Hello!” magazine.
“The first dart actually landed on Piers Morgan,” admitted producer, Simon Williams, “but we would still like one or two people to actually watch the show.
“Matt LeBlanc is famous for playing a complete idiot on Friends, so he should appeal to our core demographic easily.
“We’re hoping he’ll say ‘how you doin’ once or twice as well, just for the hell of it.
“Women might actually properly fancy him as well, rather than the ironic way in which they fancied Richard Hammond.”
Top Gear fans have reacted with their usual amounts of baffling vitriol.
“It’s not Top Gear without May, Clarkson and Hammond!” frothed Louise Giddings, a dickhead from Manchester.
“I absolutely will not watch this new show at all, and that statement alone should make these people stop what they’re doing immediately and cater to my very, very bizarre assertion that nothing should change ever.”
Simon Williams said, “Yep, that’s our audience. She’ll love LeBlanc.”
