Man buying artisan fudge horrified to realise he’s become a hipster

author avatar by 8 years ago

A man buying artisan fudge had the horrific realisation he’s become a hipster without noticing today.

The terrible moment of self awareness took place in a boutique fudgery called Mister Fudgicles in London’s Shoreditch, which the man had innocently entered.

The hand-made fudge, priced at £8.95 for six pieces, caught the eye of Simon Williams and he “bought it without thinking”.

Williams reported that he’d noticed being watched by two men with beards and lumberjack shirts, but thought he was being checked out by a couple of bears and didn’t realise what was actually happening until it was too late.

“I’ve gone thirty-five years on this earth without becoming a hipster,” he told us.

NewsThump best selling notebooks

“So why me? Why now?

“I mean, I had some hipster-curious impulses, but nothing out of the ordinary, right?

“I’ve successfully avoided stone-ground focaccia and microbrews and kale smoothies, but they finally got me with the fudge.

“Now I’m going to have to grow a fucking moustache and wax it.”

After buying the fudge, the tobacconist shop next door reported Williams bought a pipe and some snuff ‘with an air of despairing resignation’.