Nick Grimshaw to limp on until he’s literally talking to himself

author avatar by 8 years ago

Nick Grimshaw has vowed to continue with the Radio 1 Breakfast Show until everyone has stopped listening to it.

The man who somehow managed to be less good than Chris Moyles has seen his listening figures slip down even more quickly than your mum does.

“He’s determined though, bless him,” said studio technician, Simon Williams.

“Despite the obvious heartbreak in his eyes and that fixed, defeated smile on his face, he is determined to spew uninteresting drivel until he is forcibly removed from the studio, which may be as soon as next Thursday.

“Until then, he has dozens of listeners hanging on his every word. For now.

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“He’s struggled since day one, to be honest. His arse barely filled half of the groove that Moyles left behind.

“I’m not sure any of us will actually have the heart to fire him. We might just turn the lights off and run away.”