Kids Company blew everything on drugs, hookers, and monkey butlers

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A committee investigating the collapsed charity Kids Company has revealed the wild overspending of the charity.

“I think you can allow for the drugs and prostitutes,” said the chairman of the Commons Public Administration and Constitutional Affairs Committee

“I mean, that’s just day-to-day charity expenses. But the monkey butlers seem a terrible extravagance.

“If you needed something, drugs or a prostitute for example, you’d summon a monkey butler to bring you the drugs or the prostitute, if the monkey butlers were all busy then you’d simply buy another monkey butler.

“It was out of control.”

The committee also revealed that the charity spent £1.5 million on apostrophe research to determine whether it was Kid’s Company, Kids’ Company, or Kids Co’mpany.

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Camila Batmanghelidjh spent over half a million alone on extra letters for her surname.

They had a fleet of private planes, trustee Alan Yentob dined exclusively on roasted swan in diamond sauce, they paid for U2 to be on standby in a meeting room in case someone wanted to hear a live version of ‘With or Without You,’ they brought back Spangles, and at one point Kids Company were the majority shareholders in Inter Milan football club.

The committee reveals that the over-spending came to light when the charity attempted to buy Wiltshire.

“It was shocking,” continued the Chairman.

“Their financial dealings read like something from a 2010 MP’s expenses claim.”