Watching some emulsion clinging onto a wall easily beats Twilight for romance, according to the BBFC.
The certification board were forced to sit through ten hours of paint drying after some twonk submitted the film in protest at the current classification system.
“And we’d like to thank him,” said BBFC chief, Simon Williams.
“Watching the paint cling to the wall, the two beings so entwined as to become one was quite the tale.
“Certainly better than watching Kristen Stewart scowl her way through a two-hour romcom with no jokes.
“And as for the wall itself, I had a far easier time believing it was a wall than I had believing that Robert Pattinson could hold his own in a fight with a wolf and then impregnate a woman.
“Between a film of some white paint drying and a film of teenagers having a miserable time being together for hours on end, I know where MY Oscar would go!
“To the paint, because it’s white.”