Migrants to be accepted as mortgage collateral

author avatar by 7 years ago

The government is hoping to make migrants more acceptable to Daily Mail readers with an announcement they will be accepted as collateral for mortgages.

The plan is to simultaneously make houses more affordable and boost migrant integration with between 6 and 8 Syrians being accepted as a down payment on a Semi-detached dwelling in Guildford.

The system will operate on a sliding scale, and first-time-buyers are expected to be able to get a foot on the ladder in a terraced house in Sunderland for a Greek hairdresser or two Latvian bricklayers.

Lenders have confirmed that international buyers of expensive London property will be allowed to use themselves as collateral so long as they come and live in them.

“This scheme will help ordinary hard-working families achieve their dream of owning a property by using other ordinary hard-working families as collateral.

“The mortgage lender will engage the migrant in indentured servitude until the mortgage paid off, with a guarantee they won’t be deported unless the borrower defaults.”

If the property is sold on, ownership of the migrant will be passed to the new lender.

Migrants are reported to be very pleased with the suggestion, as lets face it it’s still a better option than staying in the shitholes they’re trying to escape from.