White Walkers spotted in snowbound New York

author avatar by 8 years ago

Reports of craggy, ice-blue warriors stalking the snowbound streets of New York are coming in this morning.

Residents awoke this morning to discover the creatures riding Woolly Mammoths and skeletal horses down West 34th St., making a trip to Macy’s quite out of the question.

Locals have been warned not to travel, although the latest from the city suggests it takes more than a legion of ghosts to stop a New Yorker.

Meanwhile an army of walking corpses is said to have occupied New Jersey, so nobody can be expected to notice any difference.

The creatures are believed to originate from a mysterious land of perpetual winter in the north, known only as ‘Canada’.

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This northern threat had gone unnoticed in recent years, with Presidential hopeful Donald Trump now blaming previous administrations for not building a gigantic wall along the border to protect America.

To assist in his campaign to defend against ‘Canada’, Trump has recruited the services of a powerful witch-queen with peculiar attitudes to family.

Reports indicate Trump hopes to boost his poll ratings by sacrificing his daughter and bring about a thaw.

“I could definitely burn my own daughter and not lose votes,” he announced to a cheering crowd.

Many city residents are said to be sitting out the bad weather by staying home and binge-watching Game of Thrones box sets.