Some Labour policies date back as far as the Stone Age, say fairy tale researchers

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Researchers into fairy tales say that they have found the origins of Labour Party policies in folk tales dating back 4000-6000 years.

Stories told to terrify children around Paleolithic campfires have simply been told and retold for millennia until they became part of our contemporary culture, researchers believe.

Researchers became interested in the antiquity of fairy stories after Labour used a story of the big, bad wolf to underpin their disastrous 2015 election campaign.

“Everyone thought the tale of killing the Goose that lays the Golden Eggs first appeared in the 1979 Labour manifesto, but it actually has origins in fables about the Babylonion King Tonybennanna almost 3,500 years ago,” we were told.

“And we believe tales of the magic cave of golden treasure, which is the current proposal to pay down the deficit, first appeared amongst Yak-herders on the Volga steppe in around 4000bc.

“It’s a story that has been told again and again in many forms, most recently as SNP oil policy during the recent referendum.”

Possibly the oldest story so far discovered is that of a wizened dwarf who who claims he can spin straw into gold and stamps his foot in petulant anger when caught out.

Researchers refused to be drawn on whether they saw this story being repeated in any way now.