Astronomers terrified after huge new planet turns out to be Pluto’s dad

author avatar by 7 years ago

A huge new ‘9th planet’ discovered at the edge of the solar system is Pluto’s dad and has come to ask why we upset his kid.

The planet, reported to be 5000 times bigger than Pluto, would like a word about why humans made his son cry by downgrading him from ‘planet’.

Astronomers are reported to be ‘crapping themselves’ after ignoring Pluto’s threats to get his dad on them when they downgraded him in 2006.

“Pluto was a titch so we didn’t think there’d be any problem throwing him out of the solar system”, said Astonomer Simon Williams.

“Although I will admit that giving him a Chinese burn and calling him a ‘willy-wufter’ when we did so might have been overly harsh.

“But this new planet is a big bastard who says he’ll smack us if we don’t let Pluto join the gang again.

“He also wants to be centre-forward when we play football, which might prove problematic.”

The gigantic new planet has threatened to give astronomers a ‘proper pasting’ unless Pluto is given full planet status again immediately, although Astronomers are stalling whilst they seek funding to fit a huge laser to a small moon.