Palin endorsement boosts Trump polling in key simpleton demographic

author avatar by 7 years ago

Donald Trump has been given a boost amongst the crucial ‘simpleton’ demographic following the endorsement of Sarah Palin yesterday.

Simpletons are an important swing vote, as they are often undecided between voting and trying to figure out how spoons work.

Electoral analysts say that motivating the fuckwit vote is essential for Trump to win the Republican nomination for president, and he has called for voting booths to be set up in gun stores and branches of White Castle.

Speaking at a Trump rally, Palin said “I think, because yeah, America, America and history!

“Freedom refudiates ISIS and butt-kicking Trump, I think, yeah! America!” which many of those present felt elucidated the deepest dreams of their heart far more articulately than they ever could.

Palin rose to prominence during the 2008 election campaign after a porn parody about her made her the politician most recognised by people who get their news from

Trump supporters are hopeful that Palin’s support will swing the election in his favour at least as much as she helped John McCain.

“That Donald Trump seems a real smart guy,” said voter Simon-Bob Williams in the teeth of the available evidence.

“None of that fancy book-learnin’, though. Me and my wife Windowlene read one of them there books once. Didn’t cotton to it.

“Can anyone tell me how this doohickey works?” he added, brandishing a spoon.

Trump is now reported to be attempting to maintain momentum amongst the inchoate anger vote by seeking endorsements from Eric Rudolph and the Unabomber.