Everyone but us responsible for 2015 election defeat, concludes Labour investigation

author avatar by 8 years ago

An enquiry into their 2015 election defeat by the Labour Party has concluded that it was everybody’s fault but their own.

The report highlighted the Conservatives, LibDems, the media, the SNP and the voters for special condemnation, exonerating the party completely for the loss.

The internal investigation concluded that Labour had the bestest leader and policies in the whole wide world, and got nothing whatsoever wrong, meaning that responsibility for their defeat rests entirely with everyone else.

The report describes these external forces as ‘baddies’.

“The Labour Party must work out how to take the fight to voters and other baddies, and the best way to do that is to do exactly the same only more so,” said key Labour strategist Simon Williams, who authored the report.

NewsThump best selling notebooks

“If baddies thought our leadership and policies in 2015 weren’t up to the job, just wait until they get a load of what we’re doing now.”

“I tell you, 2020 is in the bag.”