Wednesday 20 January 2016 by Lucas Wilde

Chris Evans blames vomit on lingering Jeremy Clarkson fart

Chris Evans Top Gear

The new host of Top Gear has become ill thanks to a lingering smell left behind by Jeremy Clarkson.

Carrot-topped pariah, Chris Evans, was seen making street pizza after having a go in one of the show’s reasonably priced cars.

“Nobody else has driven that thing since Jezza,” confirmed a producer, “I guess we forgot to have it sanitized before giving Chris the keys.”

“It was quite a sight” said cameraman, Simon Williams.

“Chris said some car-bollocks at the camera, then got in the car and started it up. He got about fifty metres before screeching to a halt, pretty much kicking the driver-side door from its hinges and vomiting all over the track.

“It was really something. I’ve not seen that much chunder since Richard Hammond walked in on James May naked in the green room.”

Chris Evans has described the odour as a mixture of petroleum, rotting foxes and unwashed denim.

“Yep, that’ll be Jezza,” said Williams, “he was considering bottling that scent and selling it as a new fragrance called ‘Powerrrrrrr’.

“Thank God he didn’t; we might all be dead by now.”

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