Chris Evans blames vomit on lingering Jeremy Clarkson fart

author avatar by 8 years ago

The new host of Top Gear has become ill thanks to a lingering smell left behind by Jeremy Clarkson.

Carrot-topped pariah, Chris Evans, was seen making street pizza after having a go in one of the show’s reasonably priced cars.

“Nobody else has driven that thing since Jezza,” confirmed a producer, “I guess we forgot to have it sanitized before giving Chris the keys.”

“It was quite a sight” said cameraman, Simon Williams.

“Chris said some car-bollocks at the camera, then got in the car and started it up. He got about fifty metres before screeching to a halt, pretty much kicking the driver-side door from its hinges and vomiting all over the track.

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“It was really something. I’ve not seen that much chunder since Richard Hammond walked in on James May naked in the green room.”

Chris Evans has described the odour as a mixture of petroleum, rotting foxes and unwashed denim.

“Yep, that’ll be Jezza,” said Williams, “he was considering bottling that scent and selling it as a new fragrance called ‘Powerrrrrrr’.

“Thank God he didn’t; we might all be dead by now.”