Woman on Facebook breaks bragging record

author avatar by 7 years ago

A woman on Facebook has shown off 3,784 times in three days.

Felicity Barker has lost a bit of weight, gone on holiday, bought a new car and moved into a new house in the past week, culminating in a perfect storm of vanity that is of little interest to anyone.

“I got very lucky, I feel very blessed,” said Felicity, while stroking her new house.

“And it’s really important that absolutely all of the people I’ve ever met know about how well I’m doing, because a Facebook wall should be an outward display of my achievements, rather than being vaguely interesting for anyone to read.

“I was hoping to be proposed to as well but my boyfriend is dragging his feet on that one. He’ll be sleeping on our brand new sofa tonight.

“Have you seen our brand new sofa? It’s on my wall, you MUST have seen it; I’ll share it again and tag you in it.

“My life is really perfect right now, and I want everyone to share in my happiness, not simply just scroll past it with a small sigh.”

Felicity’s boyfriend said, “Actually she cries herself to sleep most nights. It’s annoying.”