MI5 is to rebrand as MI-Fabulous! after being named Britain’s most gay-friendly employer.
The spy agency, which totally isn’t based in a large and obvious building on London’s south bank, has been named as the most gay-friendly employer in a poll carried out by charity Stonewall.
It is currently uncertain how many spies took part in the poll, or if any actually did at all.
“One of MI5’s biggest recruiting needs is people who can pretend to be someone entirely different for extended periods of time,” said a senior spook known only as SW.
“And then it struck us that’s pretty much all the gay people we ever employed before we changed our HR policy. They’re actually really good at this whole ‘secret identity’ malarkey.
“‘Out and proud!’ is our new slogan, except the bit about being a spy. They’ve still got to keep that quiet, obviously.”
In other news, MGM have reportedly approached Stephen Fry to replace Daniel Craig as James Bond, suggesting he’s a closer fit to the reality of the modern British secret agent, although he might struggle in a fight between him and a man with metal hands in a volcano.