New Game of Thrones book delayed as George RR Martin writing 2016 instead

author avatar by 7 years ago

Game of Thrones author George RR Martin is responsible for ‘New Year 2016’ in which he kills off all your favourite characters, he has acknowledged.

He began writing the work late last year when he bumped off Lemmy in the prologue, before moving on to chapters one and two where David Bowie and Alan Rickman met sudden and ill-deserved ends, leading to an outcry from fans.

However, Martin is unrepentant, insisting the deaths were dramatically appropriate and essential to move the plot forward.

“Look, when George is writing you know nobody is safe,” said Thrones fan Simon Williams.

“But this is getting ridiculous; he’s just killing off everyone without letting any sort of a theme or plot develop to the year.

“I thought the Red Wedding was bad, but at least they were pretend people who you didn’t actually care about getting killed.

“I swear, if Tim Curry or Tom Baker is in the next chapter of 2016 I’m going round to Martin’s house with a bat.”

Martin has confirmed he will get back to work on The Winds of Winter soon as he’s had a great idea involving Arya Stark and a runaway steamroller.