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Water will not dare invade the UK once we have a functional Trident replacement, supporters of the controversial nuclear deterrent have explained today.
With much of the north of England still under water, some have questioned the wisdom of spending £25bn on a nuclear deterrent when the bigger risk to the nation’s citizens appears to be the weather.
However supporters of the programme insisted that flooding would become a thing of the past when weather systems are made aware of our first strike capability.
A Ministry of Defence spokesperson explained, “Floods of water have encroached on sovereign UK territory purely because they think they can get away with it.
“We must adapt to the modern threats to our nation, and nuclear weapons are definitely the way to do that.
“Do you think York would be under water if that water knew it could be vaporised in an instant with a thermonuclear warhead? I guarantee it would not.”
Yorkshire resident Simon Williams told us, “Everything I own is ruined and my house is still under four-feet of water, along with pretty much everyone in my town, but if the government tells me the best way to spend £25bn is on new submarines and nuclear weapons rather than on improving the nation’s flood defences, then who am I to argue?”
