‘Gingers’ added to list of terror organisations

author avatar by 8 years ago

The government has added Gingers to their watch list of terror groups this morning.

The decision was made after a details emerged of a plot to murder Prince William to ensure a ginger monarch.

The new rule will cover not only Gingers, but also people describing themselves as strawberry blonde and pretty much everyone from Scotland, just to be sure.

The new rules mean it will be acceptable to stare suspiciously at red-headed people on public transport, tut loudly at them in the street, and for members of MI5 to play close attention to selfies they send to their boyfriend.

“Whilst a modern, pluralistic society welcomes moderate Gingers, you can’t be too careful,” GCHQ spokesman Simon Williams told us.

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“Who knows what nutjob ideas they harbour in their flame-red noggins?

“They can get very upset if you insult an entirely fictional character with magic powers they all believe in called Ron Weasley.”

Plans are already in place to de-radicalise redheads by helping them dye their hair a different colour.

If the initiative is successful in addressing the Ginger menace, plans are also in place to step up surveillance on left handed people and those with freckles, or ‘frecks’ as they are to be known.