FIFA amazed to learn it has an ethics committee

author avatar by 8 years ago

FIFA has unexpectedly revealed it has an ethics committee this morning.

The committee, which operates out of a broom cupboard in the basement behind the broken photocopier, has this morning banned President Sepp Blatter from football for eight years.

Blatter is reported to be ‘shocked’ by the ruling, as he didn’t even know the committee existed before today, and will appeal just as soon as he can find their office.

“Nobody was more surprised to discover we have an ethics committee than us,” FIFA spokesman Sinon Williams told us from behind a large pile of used notes.

“It’s a good thing we’ve never needed one before now, eh?” he added, without looking anyone in the eye.

NewsThump best selling notebooks

“From now on we’re going to make sure they can do their jobs as well as possible by giving them a big gold palace and full expense accounts to make sure they’re impartial.”

As part of their new central role in the organisation, FIFA plan to sent committee memers on a fact- finding tour to Russia and the UAE to learn about how business ethics are applied ‘on the ground’.