A man is sitting in his local Starbucks doing nothing but drinking a cup of coffee like it’s a completely normal thing to do.
The man, who appears otherwise unremarkable, is understood not to be using the free wi-fi, pining for a lost love, or writing a heart wrenching first novel somewhere he doesn’t have to pay for the heating.
Nor does he appear to be meeting a recruitment consultant on the sly.
“He just came in and asked for a white coffee instead of a ‘flat white’, or an Americano with cream. No Panini, no bite-size confection, no delightfully flavoured syrup or topping sprinkles,” said visibly shaken barista Simon Williams.
“Then he took it over to a window seat and is just sitting there, doing nothing but drinking it. He’s not even holding a breakout creative meeting with colleagues to discuss leveraging synergies on client accounts.
“Who does he think he is? Fucking freak.”
When asked, the man said he just fancied a cup of coffee and then looked confused when other customers started laughing.