English man to spend six months in space complaining about the tea

author avatar by 8 years ago

Major Tim Peake will be launched into space to dock with the International Space Station and begin a six month mission of being English in space.

During the mission he will carry out a variety of experiments including complaining about the tea in space, queuing in space, laughing at foreigner’s accents in space and, most importantly of all, drinking heavily in space.

At the end of the mission scientists will have a pretty clear idea about whether or not English people are able to survive in space for an extended period of time.

“I’ll be on board with a Russian chap,” said Major Peake.

“So, if he’s making the tea then they’ll certainly be of opportunities to complain about the quality; I’m expecting him to not warm the pot, to put the milk in first, to not brew it long enough.”

“I’m confident we’ll have a complete overview of all aspects of complaining about the tea in space by June.”

Major Peake’s mission has captured the imagination of the whole country with many schools expected to watch the launch live.

“I think it’s proper decent,” said 11 year old Simon Williams from Brighton.

“What this geezer’s doing and that, it makes me hope that one day, if I work really hard and pass my exams and everything, then one day I might drink heavily in space as well.”