Chelsea’s season is proving so utterly miserable that Adele has been compelled to write an album about it, sources at the club explained.
Not usually a football fan, Adele said that the themes of disappointment, being repeatedly let down, and being hurt by the actions of others were all triggers in her desire to write an album for Chelsea.
She told reporters, “Inspiration can come from anywhere, and right now Chelsea and Match of the Day have provided all the inspiration I needed to write songs about human misery.
“It’s early days, but I genuinely think the track Why Do You Always Let Me Down is one of the best I’ve ever written.
“I’ve gone a bit festive with Twenty Points At Christmas Please, though I might have to cut down the Jingle Bells a bit.
“There’s some upbeat stuff in there too, and We Probably Won’t Get Relegated is more of a disco tune designed to get you on your feet. Pharrell is producing that one.”
Chelsea officials have welcomed the news, saying, “I will make a nice change to see Chelsea’s name at the top of a table, even if it is for album sales.”