Donald Trump declares war on ISIS after devastating TripAdvisor reviews left for his hotels

author avatar by 8 years ago

Presidential hopeful Donald Trump has declared ISIS the number one enemy of the United States after the terrorist organisation launched a devastating attack on the reputation of his hotels.

After wave upon wave of successful 1-star reviews left by ISIS began to drag down the reputation of his hotels from ‘Average’ to ‘Terrible’, Trump said he would stop at nothing to see his businesses restored to their average rating.

Trump told reporters, “ISIS are scum, everyone knows that, and everyone knows that staying in a Trump hotel is wonderful experience that most people happily rate as ‘average’ – this attack will not deter people looking for an underwhelming resort experience.”

ISIS supporting social media accounts have celebrated the attack on Trump’s TripAdvisor reputation claiming it as “a dagger to the heart of the Western capitalist pig-dogs.”

However the renewed tension between the two parties has left many in the West concerned with which side to take.

“Like always, there are two sides to the story, so it’s difficult. On the one-hand, you’ve got a strong desire to rid the land of people who are different to them, treating anyone different as sub-human whilst looking to seize power through a platform of gun-waving zealotry.  And on the other hand, you have ISIS.”

“Is there any possible chance they’ll both lose?”