Handing fat-shaming cards to women will not cure micropenis, stupid men told

author avatar by 8 years ago

Handing out fat-shaming cards to women on the Tube will not help address your issues with micropenis, experts have announced this morning.

With news reports appearing of men on the Tube handing fat-shaming cards to women they believe to be larger than their narrowly defined ideal weight, doctors have said such actions are a common symptom of micropenis.

Psychologist Simon Williams told us, “We’ve read online that some men seem to think giving these cards to women they think are fat will in some way increase the size of their tiny shrivelled genitals.

“But it doesn’t, I assure you. The penis will remain incredibly small, no matter how many cards you give out.

“We would encourage these men to simply learn to love the way God made them, even if it looks like someone dropped an acorn dropped on a barber’s floor.

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Williams went on to explain the theory behind the desire to hand out these cards.

He explained, “It’s basic psychology – lashing out at someone else’s physical appearance is the most obvious form of anger displacement, and you don’t have to be Freud to realise they’re just trying to cope with their own micropenis.”

“They give these abusive cards to women who they think are too big, because they’re angry doctors have classified their genitals as too small. It’s like a first-year psychology student essay.”

“They’re not even making it difficult to understand their true motives. They deserve our pity, not anger.”